Here Lies Lydia
by Cocoa987
Summary: Will isn't the only one who's had a past experience with warmweed. Halt's life was forever changed by the substance, and now, looking at Will, all the memories are coming back.... Some angst, WillxHalt and HaltxGilan friendships. Takes place in Book 4.


**Erm...Hi. First Ranger's Apprentice fanfic, takes place around chapter 10 of book 4 (Battle for Skandia/Oakleaf Bearers) and than right at the end of book 4. I haven't read book 8 yet (we're waiting for book 6 here in the states), so some of the family stuff might not be right. Written for the 'warmweed' challenge, not JF, ect.**

Here Lies Lydia

Halt stared across the fire into Will's eyes. They were so worried, so anxious that Halt wouldn't be pleased. The warmweed addiction had ruined a piece of Will, and now the boy was afraid that Halt wouldn't understand. Halt closed his eyes and shook his head. Memories were rushing through his head, and none were connected to the boy across the fire pit. He looked up as Will shifted uncomfortably on his seat.

He cursed quietly under his breath to those who inflicted that horrid substance on others. Then he glanced up. Three pairs of eyes were watching him. Halt quickly pulled himself together. He met Will's eyes and nodded; his eyes on his apprentice the whole time. A girl's laugh seemed to echo around the camp. Halt shot a quick look at Evanlyn, but she was perfectly still.

"I'm sorry you had…to go through that." Halt murmured. Will nodded in acceptance. The ghostly laugh faded away. Nobody moved for a moment. A wolf howled in the distant, and everyone started. After a hesitant pause, Horace spoke up with yet another story.

As the conversation stayed away from the warmweed, Halt allowed himself to drift back into his memories. He gazed into the flames sadly. They seemed to dance, like the way a carefree child would. Halt closed his eyes. The image came unbidden. The smiling face of a girl appeared in his head. Halt shook his head imperceptibly.

"Halt?" Will's anxious voice brought Halt from his memories. Halt's head jerked up. He had gone too far. The conversation had somehow come back to him, and he hadn't paid any attention. Halt had been taught better than that.

"Hm?" He grunted, anxious to mask his feelings before the others could notice. Will smiled weakly.

"Thank you." There was no need to elaborate. Both knew exactly what was being said. At those words, Halt smiled.

"Did you really think I would leave you?" Halt asked. Will shrugged.

"It took you long enough," he said, his smile widening. Horace laughed, and Tug nudged the boy in the shoulder. Even Evanlyn giggled.

Halt shook his head, a low chuckle escaping before he could control himself. "I have to say, Horace and I never thought we'd catch up."

The talking eventually slowed, than stopped. In the silence, Halt found unwelcome thoughts creeping back into his mind. He stood up quickly and hurried to take care of their captive.

His training eventually kicked back into action. Halt busied himself pondering over the matter of the Temujai. There would be plenty of time for more personal matters when this problem was resolved.

He soon began to pace, trying unsuccessfully to focus on the task at hand. After a moment or two, he noticed Will pacing besides him. He turned to talk to his apprentice about the matter at hand.

Will seemed confident at first, but his grin faded as his mentor explained the problem. "This isn't good," he commented as Halt finished. "What are we going to do?" The two went back to pacing side by side, speaking quietly as to not disturb the others.

"We're going to ride like the devil back to Araluen. I don't want you and Cass- Evanlyn here any longer than you have to be" Halt said firmly. "I'll get things figured out with King Duncan when we bring Evanlyn home. " Will frowned.

"Halt, what's really on your mind?" Halt froze.

"Why do you say that?" This time it was Will who turned to stand in front of Halt.

"You've been distracted all afternoon. What's wrong?" Halt considered denying everything, but one look at Will's persistent face stopped him. He really was stuck in old habits, a fact that was not helped by his worrisome thoughts. Halt sighed in defeat and sat down, leaning against a fallen tree. Will sat down next to him.

"I was just thinking about your encounter with warmweed." Will's face fell.

"I tried so hard not to give in-" he began. Halt held up a hand and Will fell silent.

"I understand. I don't blame you at all." Will started to speak but Halt rounded on him. "I don't blame you! It isn't your fault! I would never blame you for something you did involuntarily! It's the fault of whatever demon inflicted that cursed thing on you! You never had a chance to say no!" He roared, anger tearing the words from his throat. At the sight of Will's stricken face, Halt paused, ready to continue, than sighed heavily and put his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." Halt said quietly. Will put a hand on Halt's back.

"I'm sorry. I can see that this is important to you." The younger boy said quietly.

"It's just-" Halt began. This time it was Will who stopped his mentor.

"I don't need to hear the whole story. I can see it's personal to you." Halt nodded slowly, fighting to regain his control. When he spoke, his voice was ragged.

"I knew someone who died because of warmweed. She was someone very close to me. She wasn't much older than you." Halt said quietly. "She was captured by the Skandians, much like you. Unfortunately there wasn't someone to help her, like with you." Halt dropped his head back into his hands.

After a moment of silence, Will spoke up. "I'm sorry." He said simply. Halt nodded.

"Thank you. Sorry about-" Will didn't allow him to finish.

"Don't worry about it. I went too far." He whispered. Halt lifted his head to meet the eyes of his young apprentice. They were troubled and concerned.

"It isn't your fault. I've been thinking about it all day. You just caught me by surprise. Thank you, though. I needed to yell at someone." Halt said with a wry grin. Will returned the smile.

"What else are apprentices for?" He asked sarcastically. He started to get up, but Halt stopped him one last time.

"I'm very proud of you, Will. Many people would not have been able to recover the way you have. And the way you and Evanlyn managed-" Halt shook his head. "I'm very proud of the both of you." Impulsively, Will wrapped his arms around his older friend. Halt stiffened, than leaned into his friend.

"Thank you." Will whispered into Halt's ear. Halt nodded. He knew that the simple praise was enough for Will. Then Will stood up and walked back to camp, leaving Halt in his thoughts once again.

Later that night, Halt sat alone in the clearing. Horace and Evanlyn had retired to bed soon after Will and Halt had filled them in on the Temujai, but Will remained awake for a while longer.

"You want first watch, or should I?" He had asked quietly, stirring the dying embers as he spoke. Halt smiled.

"Go to bed, Will. You've been through a lot." Will smiled.

"You all right, Halt?" Halt had paused, and then went for the truthful answer.

"Not quite. I'm getting there, though." Will had nodded.

"Wake me up when it's my watch." He said as he disappeared into the tent.

Finally Halt sat alone in the clearing. He stared into the fire and finally allowed himself to sink back into the memories…

_Halt leaned low over Abelard, urging the horse to greater speeds. Gilan followed a few steps behind. The first-year apprentice looked on wide-eyed. This was his first time in Skandia, and it definitely wasn't for a peace meeting._

_The Skandian party ran, their bags of loot weighing them down. As they ran, a small bundle was thrown to the ground. The figure rolled, than lay limp in the middle of the road. As the two Rangers thundered past, Halt caught a glimpse of raven-black hair. He whirled Abelard around with an involuntary cry. Gilan spun around, an arrow already nocked._

_"What?" He called. Halt was already halfway back to the figure. He sighted, sure that it was a trick._

_Halt looked up just in time. "No! For God's sake, don't shoot!" Gilan aimed upward at the last second, the arrow flying harmlessly above the older Ranger. Gilan dropped his bow and started back to Halt. His mentor stepped in front of the figure._

_"Get away from here!" He roared, and Gilan stopped still. "Go after them!" Halt shouted, his voice breaking. To Gilan's shock, there were tears rolling down Halt's face. Gilan whirled back around on Blaze and thundered off after the Skandians._

_Gilan safely gone, Halt bent down over his younger sister's body. Lydia smiled weakly, her dark green eyes clouded._

_"I see you became a Ranger." She croaked. Halt nodded, unable to stop the flow of tears. "We were all so proud."_

_"What happened?" Halt said softly. Lydia coughed, blood spattering her cheeks. Halt unthinkingly wiped her face with his cloak._

_"Warmweed. They lost their stock, and I wasn't important enough to get a ration." She croaked. "Water." Halt produced a flask and held it to her lips. Lydia sipped slowly, than coughed violently. _

_"We missed you, Halt. Mama was worried." Her cloudy green eyes were demanding now._

_"I couldn't face them. Not after running away. I was ashamed." Halt said quietly. Lydia shook her head._

_"You have to write them. For me." She ordered feebly. Halt nodded._

_"Please don't die. Please," he begged. He knew it was useless, but he couldn't help himself. Lydia smiled softly._

_"I'm sorry." She whispered. "Stay with me?" She asked in a rasping voice. Halt nodded, and the tears began to flow again. "Tell me what's been going on with you."She ordered in the same voice._

_Halt began telling her stories of his past ten years. As he spoke, his mind raced through every memory of his sister. _

_"When was the last time you danced?" He asked, interrupting himself. Lydia's face scrunched up, trying to see through the fog in her mind._

_"Years ago." She finally decided. Halt nodded._

_"I hope you get to dance wherever you're going. I hope things are better for you there. I'm sorry things turned out this way." Halt said softly. Lydia's breathing had suddenly slowed, and Halt knew it was almost the end. _

_"I love you, Halt." Lydia mouthed. She closed her eyes, and her breathing slowed even more. Halt knew this was his last chance._

_"I love you, Lydia. I'll kill the people who did this. I swear I'll find a way to avenge you. I love you, and I'm sorry." Halt whispered, tears falling freely. Lydia smiled, and her breathing stopped._

_Halt kneeled next to his sister's body, sobbing silently. It seemed like ages until the tears finally stopped, but when he looked up, the sun hadn't yet set. Gilan hadn't yet returned, although Halt knew it was only a matter of time. Abelard was only a few feet away, nickering softly._

_"Go ahead," Halt said thickly. Abelard nuzzled Halt's shoulder, than stepped into the forest in search of a snack._

_Halt sent up a quick prayer to whatever gods were listening, praying for his sister's soul. "Wherever she is, let her be dancing." He whispered. The wind whistled around him, tossing the girl's hair. A sound like a little girl's laugh wove through the forest._

_Gilan returned with Blaze a moment later. He dismounted and stood behind Halt. Halt turned slowly to his apprentice. At the grief-torn expression on Halt's face, Gilan impulsively hugged the older man. Halt stood perfectly still, fighting to get his emotions in check. When Gilan backed away, Halt's face was relatively calm._

_"Let's get her buried." Halt said gruffly. Gilan set off without another word, returning with two shovels._

_The pair dug a hole quickly. Halt gently carried the girl's body and laid her gently in the ground. Gilan started to replace the dirt, but Halt put a hand on his chest._

_"Go set up camp back out of the forest." Halt said gruffly. He could feel himself slipping, and didn't want Gilan to see his mentor lose control. Gilan nodded slowly and backed away. A few feet away he turned and ran, calling the horses softly as he went._

_Halt shoveled a small layer of dirt over his sister's body, than looked for a suitable marker. He found a decent sized stone a few yards away and picked it up. With shaking hands, he took his knife and carved a small inscription into the rock. When he was finished, he placed the rock at the place where Lydia's feet would be. Then he turned away and walked slowly back to camp._

_At the camp, Gilan had already eaten and was sitting by the fire waiting for his teacher. When Halt entered the site, Gilan stood up to meet him. Halt sat down heavily. Gilan sat down next to him and waited for him to speak._

_"She was my sister." He finally said quietly. Gilan was shocked to hear the vulnerability in his voice. Gilan wrapped an arm around his friend. Halt leaned gratefully into Gilan's embrace._

_"I'm sorry." Gilan said softly. No other words needed to be said. The two sat side by side late into the night, while Halt grieved the loss of the girl he used to think of as a daughter._

Halt stared up at the moon, tears coursing silently down his cheeks. A figure appeared at the edge of his vision. It was Will, coming to check on his mentor. Will understood the way grief took hold of you sometimes. It had happened often when he used to think of his father.

Will sat down next to his mentor and wrapped an arm around his teacher, the same way another apprentice had so many nights before.

"I'm sorry." Will said softly, the same way Gilan had. The two sat side by side until Halt's tears finally stopped.

"I'll take over. Get some sleep." Will said in the same soft tone. Halt nodded his thanks, and fell into a sleep filled with memories of dancing with Lydia.

**The Day before the return to Araluen.**

Will and Halt rode slowly up the hill, heading toward the cabin where Will and Evanlyn had spent their winter. The two talked and joked, an aftereffect of the lack of tension. The Temujai were gone, and they were all going home safely.

Halt suddenly stopped still. Will continued on, telling some story or another. When he realized Halt wasn't next to him anymore, he froze and turned around. Halt was staring into the forest. He stood perfectly still, body rigid. Will slowly reached toward his bow. Halt saw the motion and held up a hand.

"I need a moment. Go on ahead." He said in a low voice. Will nodded and continued on. Halt dismounted and stepped silently into the forest. He recognized this place.

Right where he remembered it, he saw the stone. He picked it up and examined it. You could still read the words, faded as they were. They were crude and shaky; the script of a grieving soul. It wasn't a proper memorial for the sister of a Ranger.

Halt found another stone of similar size and carried it back to the grave. He copied the engraving in his neatest work, than replaced the rock. He sat for a moment longer. He closed his eyes and let a single tear fall down his cheek. The wind tossed his graying hair, and the ghost of a fallen girl sang in his ears.

"I miss you, Lydia," he mouthed. He realized that in his own way, he had avenged her. He had given the boy he considered his son the chance his sister never had. He looked one last time at the engraving, to set it in his memory. Then he turned back toward Hallasholm.

Here Lies Lydia

Sister of a Ranger

Daughter of an angel

Wherever she is

May she be dancing.

**Read, review, ect. I might have a couple more RA oneshots and a slightly longer RA thing out by the end of the month. Anyone want to beta...?**

**Thanks for reading!!**


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